Sep 21
As part of the communication process with prospective matches on eHarmony people send sets of pre-configured questions back and forth. Each question comes with four multiple-choice answers plus a fifth “fill in the blank” option. It seems pretty pointless to ever choose one of the multiple-choice options and so I invariably type in my own answer, even though my answer is occasionally the exact same as one of the automated choices. I guess that I want the whole process to feel more personal and less like a survey. I would definitely prefer to read a girl’s written response to a question than to see that she chose “answer C,” and so I basically just assume that girls would prefer the same from me.
Maybe I am over-thinking it.
Related Note: While filling out my Introductory Profile I was asked to reply to a series of short answer questions (what are you passionate about, describe the last book you read, etc) to provide a snapshot for prospective matches. The website instructed me that I should keep my answers to a maximum of 650 characters in length. Of course I took this to mean, “please use 650 characters per answer,” and turned my short answers into short essays. After browsing a few dozen intros from potential matches, I realized that the normal length for a response is much closer to one sentence than one paragraph. Oh well. Once again, I send out what I hope to get back in. As always, I remain partial to girls who can write in complete sentences.
Other Related Note: I am getting an increasingly clear idea of how girls seem to both think of and describe themselves. Apparently every girl wants me to know that she is “really funny lol” and “actually SUPER smart.” Whenever I read those things, I assume the exact opposite. Truly, I could write an entire post on my new-found pet peeves of Introductory Profiles.
At any rate, tonight I got a question that I hadn’t seen before. And I had no idea how to even begin to answer it.
What is your opinion of traditional gender roles?
A) I like traditional gender roles and want to be in a relationship that celebrates them.
B) I would accept traditional gender roles if my partner were really interested in them.
C) I’m not at all interested in traditional gender roles and want my mate and me to define our roles on our own.
“Gender Roles” sounds like something that a football player studies in a survey class, but I have no idea what that really even means. Read in a certain mindset the potential answer choices allude to something darkly sexual… but I don’t think that’s what this girl was asking. Just the same I didn’t know how to respond. When in doubt I fell back on my trusty go-to approach of being brutally honest.
I replied:
D) Hmm, I honestly don’t really know what this question is asking. I don’t care who makes more money, or if we split the check, or if you can’t cook… I guess my answer is ‘C’ then?
That answer probably makes me sound like a spazzy dork, but hopefully I came close to what this girl was looking for as an answer. I didn’t really want to reply with, “hold on while I read an entire Wikipedia entry about the possible definitions of Gender Roles… ok, I’m back. Yeah I choose C.”
My answer makes me sound spazzy, sure… but nearly as spazzy as I felt trying to write it. Is it worse that I can’t answer that question, or that this particular girl feels it is important that I try?