Oct 19
The other day I was waiting in line at Little Caesar’s when I noticed that the girl in front of me was wearing a blue baby-doll tee that had MAVERICK typed across the back of it, just above a horizontal line running through a star.
While I waited for her to turn around so I could verify her McCain-Palin-ness I debated whether I should say something to her or not. And, if not, would it be socially unacceptable to just push her a little? Not tackle or anything, just a semi-friendly shove. Enough to be noticed, but not enough that she would drop her pizza. I mean, when girls dress like that they are basically asking for it, right?
I hadn’t quite made up my mind by the time she turned around and revealed the front of her shirt.
I spent the next several moments debating whether I should say something to her or not. And, if not, would it be alright if I just high-fived her instead? By the time I had decided, she was already long gone and my pizza was ready.
A short while back I was driving in my car when I suddenly realized that I was hungry. Sitting there deep in thought over my new-found hunger I eventually came to realize that I didn’t want to spend more than three dollars on my lunch. The solution to my dual problems readily apparent I swung my car into the Taco Bell drive through. As I pulled up to the window and offered my credit card to pay for the two-dollars-and-some-change worth of tacos the window attendant ambushed me with an unexpected question.
“Would you like to donate a dollar to cure cancer today, sir?”
First off, please don’t call me sir, ma’am. You are older than I am.
Secondly, I really don’t want to give you another dollar. My lunch was going to cost me about two dollars, and now they are asking for another dollar more. That is a 50% increase in the price I was prepared to pay.
Still, it seemed like a pretty good deal. I could cure cancer. Today, no less. And it would only cost one dollar. How could I refuse?
But then I thought: this is a pretty clever fundraising move. A major step up from the change bucket near the register to be sure. It is easy to ignore a bucket, much more difficult to say no to a person who will judge you for your charity… or lack there of. I realized they did the same thing at the checkout counters of the local pet stores. “Give a dollar to help homeless animals?” Of course I always give that dollar. I mean, those animals have no homes! If I won’t fight for them who will?
And if me and my two dollar tacos won’t cure cancer… who then indeed?
Of course then I thought: this is all a devious trick. I was about to become the victim of a puppeteer’s manipulations. Manipulated towards a good cause, no doubt, but manipulated just the same.
“No Thanks.”
I paid my two-dollars-and-some-change, took my tacos, and drove away. My feelings during the drive home were mixed. I felt proud to have successfully evaded a trap, but at the same time I also felt like the world’s worst human.
Overall the competing moods were a push.
Pulling into my garage a part of me wondered what it would feel like to suddenly be arriving home to a taco-born cancer-free world. Another part of me… a much larger part of me… wondered whether I would have given up the anti-cancer dollar if the lady at the window hadn’t called me sir.