LittleWyvern.com

What the crap?! So of course I had to get all excited about my 2-0 start to fantasy football, and just to make the fall that much harder I even went ahead and wrote about it. The key phrase in that paragraph was, “And barring a significant combination of unlikely events…” I’m not sure why I should have expected any less.

My luck in general has been at a serious low all week and today was no different. I blame events beyond my control, specifically my game schedule. Out of sheer (bad) luck 8 of my starting 10 players were scheduled to play in the earliest time slot (1pm EST, 10am PST). One of those remaining two players, Plaxico Burress of the New York Giants, was listed as ‘questionable’ all week long, meaning he might play or he might not, due to multiple sprains in his ankle and fingers – not ideal for a wide receiver. I woke up early to check for an update on his status, but was a bit dismayed to see that it would be a game-time decision. And because the Giants game started in the afternoon, after everyone else on my team had already played, if he didn’t play it would be too late to replace him at game time and I would get an automatic 0 points. ESPN’s advice was that it was just too risky to start him in my lineup. So I took the conservative route and replaced him with Isaac Bruce, who ESPN projected would score about the same number of points as Burress anyway.

Well, just because I’m terrible, not only did Plaxico play but he scored more points than any other player on my team. Even better (for my opponent), Isaac Bruce got injured in the second quarter and only played part of the game.

Oh, and then Eli Manning threw two interceptions to go along with his one fumble. Oh, and then Peyton Manning decided he didn’t want to score any touchdowns today. Oh, and then Thomas Jones didn’t feel like scoring either, despite multiple attempts from the 1-yard line. Neither of my two starting running backs and none of my four receivers scored a single time today.

Oh yeah… and one more thing… Jon Kitna (my opponent’s QB) drank his invisible juice this morning while eating two bowls of Wheaties sprinkled with HGH. Good God.

And somehow, right now, I am still winning my matchup by 31 points. Unfortunately my opponent has two pretty good players still to play in Monday night’s game. The good news is that Reggie Bush hasn’t shown up this season. The bad news is that Marques Colston has.

I should lose.
I am supposed to lose.
But maybe I won’t.

(I probably will.)

So far this season:

I need them to combine for less than 32 points Monday night.

Go Go Titans!