Mar 20
I have neither the time nor singular interest to invest myself in a post of any significance tonight – or during the past week for that matter. But though my website falls into minor disrepair rest assured that the mind behind the voice continues to grind with fervor. There are any number of topics I could write about I suppose, though I seriously doubt any of them would provide for you a level of entertainment on par with my level of interest. Lots and lots of people are going to be staying here over the next two weeks – an informal but equally energized Drinkfest 2K7 – and because I make it a point not to blog while drunk I can’t be sure just how much time I will have available to write. Just the same, here are some of the subjects ion which I have recently invested an above average quantity of thought.
- I really don’t like Hillary Clinton. I consider myself to be fiercely liberal in most respects, but if she wins the Democratic nomination I am not sure what I will do. I despise the argument that it is better to simply not vote, but at the same time I do not think that I could bring myself to vote for the policy over the person. That is to say, I would rather vote for a well qualified Republican than an unqualified Democrat. Let’s just hope that it doesn’t come to that.
- What is the worst thing that you have ever done? If asked the question – even if only by yourself – do you have an immediate answer? If so, have you ever told anyone what that answer is? And what does it say about oneself to have the answer so readily available? What does it say about a person if they do not?
- Why do I think about that particular question so much? It pops into my head at some point every day, and though the time I entertain the thought varies from little to significant, it always shows up eventually.
- I think about my own death a lot. Every day, to tell the truth. Multiple times a day. I find myself imagining my death in two parts: picturing both the moment itself and the immediate after-effects in the world I have left behind. For instance, I get into my car to drive to the store and as I drive through an intersection I ever-so-briefly visualize a car running the red light and hitting me from the side. I of course imagine the impact, but then I think, “So how will Matt find out I’m dead? The police will eventually call my parents in Chicago, but will they then think to call my roommate? Will anyone think to look for my online savings account? (I don’t write my passwords down, so will the money simply be lost?) Will someone put up a post on this website about it?” I blink and the vision is gone, but then of course I immediately wonder two things 1) why would I picture that happening? and 2) is there any chance it will come true? For the briefest of moments I consider that perhaps before someone dies they have a feeling of the impending event, a premonition if you will. I have heard stories of such things – a person who gets a bad feeling and decides to skip the flight that ends up crashing – and it is easy to write off such claims as fantasy, but just the same… I further suppose that the prime argument against such a claim – ignoring the obvious fact that I am still alive – is that because I get these momentary visions so often, and in so many different forms, that they cannot all be true => therefore it can be concluded that none of them are true (though that is strictly false logic). I wish that I didn’t think about it so much, but I don’t know what can be done about it.
- I am finishing a book about the psychological motivations that drive various violent offenders. What is it that drives one person to become a serial killer while another becomes an arsonist and still another to become a bomber? The book examines the personality traits and defining characteristics of these people within the context of criminal profiling. Were I to go crazy – crazy being an inappropriate word – what would I be most likely to do (arsonist, assassin, sexual predator, bomber, poisoner, arsonist, mass murderer, spree killer, etc…)? At book’s end, and after significant consideration, I have reached the happy conclusion that I don’t think that I am likely to become any of those things. I share a good number of attributes with many of these violent offenders, but I can’t imagine myself on any of their roads. An obvious realization for many of you I am sure, but at the same time I am left to further consider that very few of those studied in the book expected to follow that road either. They were all relatively normal right up until the point that they were not.
- My head is in a weird place. I think that my next book will be of a much lighter fare. Something by Terry Brooks perhaps. Then again, I just downloaded a free book called The Authoritarians about the ability of power to control and corrupt. It is an analysis of modern American government written by a psychology professor in Canada. Word on the street tells me that the book is ‘fascinating’. At this point, though, I am not sure how much more bad news I can subject myself to and still maintain such a cheery and optimistic outlook.
- And on that note, I watched An Inconvenient Truth this afternoon. I demand that you all watch it as well. The movie is incredibly depressing, but ends with a message of hope. It would seem that the world is quite literally coming to an end, but if that movie doesn’t motivate you to wish for change (‘demand’ requiring too much effort on our part), then I don’t know what possibly could.