Is it paranoid to think that people stare at me a lot? There is a necessary amount of looking required to observe one’s surroundings. Occasionally it’s acceptable to linger one’s gaze at something particular interesting – Hey, that guy just spilled his drink all over the table – Is that a tattoo of a dragon on her lower back? – etc.

It seems that I get the linger quite more often than should be my due. I call it eyeballin’.

I figure myself for a relatively normal, average, run-of-the-mill, all around Joe Everybody looking dude. I don’t dress particularly funny. My hair isn’t cut particularly oddly. I don’t smell, walk with a limp, talk loudly, or spit at strangers. And yet when I walk into a public place I can’t seem to avoid the eyballin’. I went through a drive-through the other day and the girl at the window looked at me for what could be considered an awkward amount of time. Waiting at traffic lights I often catch the driver of the car next to me looking my way. A few days ago the dude who makes my sandwiches at Subway looked up at me, locked eye contact for several seconds, and then smiled while continuing to stare. I smiled back – I’m a happy, smiling type person – but it was weird. Bill and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and as we walked through the door a group of three register girls stopped their conversation and stared at us continuously until we had moved out of their sight. It’s as if people don’t realize that I see them seeing me, but I do. High school girls at the Subway. Beefcakes at the gym. The mexican guy who is always outside our apartment loading and unloading tools from his pickup. Random tourist girls in the lobby at the Bellagio. They all seem to be eyeballin’.

Does anyone out there know what I mean?