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Some of my roommates’ friends from back home came to visit last weekend. Good times were had throughout, though not all of which involved my participation. Coming back from Thanksgiving break Matt told me that his friends find me to be “super intimidating.” It wasn’t the first time I’ve been told as much, and I took the comment as equal parts complement and criticism. To an extent that perception is an unavoidable by-product of my personality. Still, I don’t know whether the shadow is cast by your insecurities or by my actions. Don’t be embarassed or afraid that I might judge you by your every mistake, thinking you less a man than I. There should be no doubt that this will take place, of course, however it’s nothing personal. I judge everybody.

I have just about finished reading A Little History of the World. While the history of the world is nothing new, crafty phrasing intended, I remain fascinated by the intricacies of our civilization’s past. The book itself didn’t reveal much of anything that I did not already remember from my 9th grade history class, but I found myself reliving the information with a more personal touch. Particularly amazing to consider is the impact laid upon the world by the individual, seemingly moreso than the culture. What I mean to say by this is perhaps more clearly illustrated in the structure of the book itself. The beginnings of civilization are invariably described in cultural terms. Mesopotamia between the Tigris and Euphrates, Egypt along the Nile, the Phoenicians, the Greeks, the Romans, and the Persians. After a dozen chapters or so we leave the age of the culture and instead turn our attention to the individual. Alexander the Great and his conquest of the world. Constantine and his conquest of the world. Barbarossa, Phillip, Caeser, Peter the Great, etc… The world was shaped not by the general cultures of the time but by the individual ambitions of the few. Murder and betrayal were the tools of the successful leader, war the instrument of his legacy. I can’t help but consider whether today’s civilization is so different than that present only a few hundred years ago. I hesitate to declare it so. And if we are indeed merely a different colored flower in the timeline of history, who then from our time will be remembered? In a way the idea offers comfort. Even the world changing war on terrorism will hardly register a blip on humanity’s resume, let alone the orchestrators and devices of its execution. As bad a president as I may believe Bush to be, as evil and dangerous as Osama can be, they are all powerless and inconsequential when viewed through the lens of history. It takes the will of far greater men to bring about any serious effect. And there lies the aspect of this idea which gives rise to concern. History is speckled with the greatness of the individual. But in today’s age of technology and global communication, is it even possible for these individuals to exist? The accomplishments of Alexander and Ghengis Khan could never again be duplicated. There is no place for a 21st century Joan of Arc. What then of the individual?

I’ve been playing a sickening amount of Sudoku lately. It’s a puzzle game involving numbers and patterns that I find myself getting lost in for hours. I begin a puzzle and then applaud myself when I find its solution, only later realizing that more than an hour has passed in between. Even when taking a break I close my eyes and see grids of numbers. The game is mental crack for those of us with both an analytical mind and a tendency towards obsession. Like the afternoon I spent memorizing pi I now can’t stop completing the empty squares. The program on the website is offered as a free demo, but consider this your warning: Abandon All Hope Ye Who Click Here.

I earned an official membership at 24 Hour Fitness today. It wasn’t as difficult as advertised, primarily involving a credit card and a signature. Just the same, I’ve made that first important step towards becoming Vin Diesel. I am meeting with a trainer tomorrow to have him point out all the ways that I am not perfect just the way I am. Hopefully he will also explain to me what core strength is and where I can buy some.