Oct 19
The other day I was waiting in line at Little Caesar’s when I noticed that the girl in front of me was wearing a blue baby-doll tee that had MAVERICK typed across the back of it, just above a horizontal line running through a star.
While I waited for her to turn around so I could verify her McCain-Palin-ness I debated whether I should say something to her or not. And, if not, would it be socially unacceptable to just push her a little? Not tackle or anything, just a semi-friendly shove. Enough to be noticed, but not enough that she would drop her pizza. I mean, when girls dress like that they are basically asking for it, right?
I hadn’t quite made up my mind by the time she turned around and revealed the front of her shirt.
I spent the next several moments debating whether I should say something to her or not. And, if not, would it be alright if I just high-fived her instead? By the time I had decided, she was already long gone and my pizza was ready.
A short while back I was driving in my car when I suddenly realized that I was hungry. Sitting there deep in thought over my new-found hunger I eventually came to realize that I didn’t want to spend more than three dollars on my lunch. The solution to my dual problems readily apparent I swung my car into the Taco Bell drive through. As I pulled up to the window and offered my credit card to pay for the two-dollars-and-some-change worth of tacos the window attendant ambushed me with an unexpected question.
“Would you like to donate a dollar to cure cancer today, sir?”
First off, please don’t call me sir, ma’am. You are older than I am.
Secondly, I really don’t want to give you another dollar. My lunch was going to cost me about two dollars, and now they are asking for another dollar more. That is a 50% increase in the price I was prepared to pay.
Still, it seemed like a pretty good deal. I could cure cancer. Today, no less. And it would only cost one dollar. How could I refuse?
But then I thought: this is a pretty clever fundraising move. A major step up from the change bucket near the register to be sure. It is easy to ignore a bucket, much more difficult to say no to a person who will judge you for your charity… or lack there of. I realized they did the same thing at the checkout counters of the local pet stores. “Give a dollar to help homeless animals?” Of course I always give that dollar. I mean, those animals have no homes! If I won’t fight for them who will?
And if me and my two dollar tacos won’t cure cancer… who then indeed?
Of course then I thought: this is all a devious trick. I was about to become the victim of a puppeteer’s manipulations. Manipulated towards a good cause, no doubt, but manipulated just the same.
“No Thanks.”
I paid my two-dollars-and-some-change, took my tacos, and drove away. My feelings during the drive home were mixed. I felt proud to have successfully evaded a trap, but at the same time I also felt like the world’s worst human.
Overall the competing moods were a push.
Pulling into my garage a part of me wondered what it would feel like to suddenly be arriving home to a taco-born cancer-free world. Another part of me… a much larger part of me… wondered whether I would have given up the anti-cancer dollar if the lady at the window hadn’t called me sir.
October 20th, 2008
I used to have a similar debate with myself about giving money to random people. The thing is — everyone is asking for money. It’s obviously not reasonable to say yes to everyone. So how do you choose who to give money to and who not to give money to? The answer was easy enough for me: give money to no one. It makes walking down the streets of Chicago a whole lot easier. If I want to donate money, I’ll do it on my own time, and I’ll do it without someone guilt-tripping me into it. Hence, I’m glad you said no.
October 20th, 2008
Yeah, although for me the answer is mostly based on whim. You can’t always say yes, but I don’t think you should always say no. It’s actually a classic problem when dealing with mathematical algorithms (I spent a few months doing research on this problem at NU). It turns out that when resources are limited and information is incomplete or unknowable the best solution (mathematically) is usually to make a random decision each time. That is more or less what I do, but I definitely lean toward giving.
October 20th, 2008
Ha Jim you live in the worst area for it too. Between the Green Peace people and bums, you can’t walk ten feet.
Jason – you should probably stay away from girls in general… regardless of what t they are sporting.
October 20th, 2008
From one cancer patient to a cancer-free person, let me first say you are the worst person ever.
Actually, no that’s not true. I probably would have done the same.
Back in our NU days, I was re-selling my books to Norris. The student employee asked, “Would you like to donate your books? They will go to schools in Africa.” My friend and I pressed harder. What do you mean “Africa”? What specific country? Through what program? What NGO? We flustered the poor girl.
I imagine Taco Bell has good intentions, even a good non-profit they are partnering with (I’m guessing its something for breast cancer, since Oct is breast cancer awareness month). But they may need to re-think their tactics; if they are so vague about their work, you might as well donate straight to the source instead of via proxy and being guilt-tripped while you are at it.
October 21st, 2008
yeah, these vague “donate $1 to ____ good cause” things are crap and i decline them every time… basically cuz of karen’s reasoning – too vague. “breast cancer research” is still too vague too – there’s not really a cure, where is the money going then? drug companies don’t need money for driving their research and development… they get buttloads of money from their current drug sales to drive further research… and besides, they’re focused on treatments, not cures. you’d lose profitability if you truly researched a cure.
i would happily donate directly to a specific charity to help them with the services they provide, though.
October 21st, 2008
I suppose that’s a big difference between my perceptions of donating to ‘cancer’ and donating to ‘shelter homeless animals’. I understand that a cause like non-kill shelters could put my dollar to good use. When it comes to cancer I guess I would rather pay that dollar in taxes and then have the government invest a buttload of those collective dollars into solving the problem at large. That’s what makes me a Democrat, though.
Charack O’Barkley ’08
October 22nd, 2008
@Corey: The homeless guys (and girls) around me are pretty hilar. It’s funny ’cause just like at NU, I know all the regular homeless people, and I can tell when a new one starts frequenting the corners. It’s an odd mix of people. And yes, the people with clipboards that stand around asking to talk to me are the absolute worst. They are so annoying. I’d take a homeless guy on my corner over one of those working-clipboard-people any day.
October 22nd, 2008
Whoops, that above comment was by me…I reinstalled Firefox and I didn’t realize that it wasn’t auto-filling my Name anymore.
October 22nd, 2008
hey, my favorite is the guy who gives to help the animal shelter while stepping over the homeless man and telling him to get a job you bum.
October 22nd, 2008
yeah seriously. I mean, what’s that homeless guy’s problem?