I was starting to write this entry when I became confused by the very first word. After rolling it around in my head for a minute, trying to decide if it even was a word, and if so, whether it actually meant what I thought it did. Irregardless. It is used interchangably with regardless, but also has the ugly and uncomfortable aura to it that makes me think it isnt even a word. Not a good one anyway. A quick google search returned this definition page, which is awesome for being both informative as well as condescending. An oxford professor’s equivalent of “that’s not a word, dumbass”.
Regardless of it’s obvious and horrible health effects, I’m becoming more and more convinced that smoking actually DOES make you cool. In high school this was pretty obvious. In college, not so much. Drinking made you cool in college, smoking just made you smell bad. In my new world of yuppie culture, smoking is all the rage. But unlike Harry Potter and reality TV, it molds our lifestyles in crafty and furtive ways. Those PSAs are full of shit. There is no scary dude in the trenchcoat saying “hey kid, wanna be cool?” while holding out a pack of menthol blues. Instead, every hour or two I look up from my computer and discover that I’m all alone at my desk, coworkers nowhere to be seen. Invariably they come walking back into the building together, laughing at some hilarious joke and high fiving eachother over some terriffic accomplishment. Nobody ever comes out and says it, but it’s pretty obvious who the cool kids are.
It starts from the moment I get to work. Walking into the building I usually pass a group of smokers. It’s early, but not too early for the cool. I say “what’s up”, even sometimes going with the “sup”, but they never respond. Occasionally I get a head nod. “Yeah, what’s up, dude.” the nod seems to say. “I’d actually talk to you, but I can’t. This sweet, sweet cigarette’s in my mouth and I couldn’t imagine taking out for anything less important than exhaling.” While his head nods, his eyes squint and tell me to fuck off.
I think I should take up smoking. I’ve given it some thought, and the solution is pretty obvious. Smoking makes you cool, but it also kills you and makes you addicted. I should take up recreational smoking. Just enough to invite a new image, not enough to invite a new carcinoma. I would be able to quit whenever I wanted and never get ‘the urge’. My breath and clothes wouldn’t stink and my teeth wouldn’t change colors. That would be pretty cool.
please don’t ever touch a cigarette. it’s not worth it.
just some of the things in cigarettes/cigarette smoke (aka, things any sane person would never subject themselves to otherwise):
Benzene (petrol additive)
A colorless cyclic hydrocarbon obtained from coal and petroleum, used as a solvent in fuel and in chemical manufacture – and contained in cigarette smoke. It is a known carcinogen and is associated with leukemia.
Formaldehyde (embalming fluid)
A colorless liquid, highly poisonous, used to preserve dead bodies – also found in cigarette smoke. Known to cause cancer, respiratory, skin and gastrointestinal problems.
Ammonia (toilet cleaner)
Used as a flavoring, frees nicotine from tobacco turning it into a gas, found in dry cleaning fluids.
Acetone (nail polish remover)
Fragrant volatile liquid ketone, used as a solvent, for example, nail polish remover – found in cigarette smoke.
Tar
Particulate matter drawn into lungs when you inhale on a lighted cigarette. Once inhaled, smoke condenses and about 70% of the tar in the smoke is deposited in the smoker’s lungs.
Nicotine (insecticide/addictive drug)
One of the most addictive substances known to man, a powerful and fast-acting medical and non-medical poison. This is the chemical which causes addiction.
Carbon Monoxide (CO) (car exhaust fumes)
An odorless, tasteless and poisonous gas, rapidly fatal in large amounts – it’s the same gas that comes out of car exhausts and is the main gas in cigarette smoke, formed when the cigarette is lit. Others you may recognize are :
Arsenic (rat poison), Hydrogen Cyanide (gas chamber poison)
Yeah, plus I know a kid who grew up on a tobacco farm in virginia. Apparantly all kinds of bugs and worms grow on the plants, but the farmers dont care. So they just crush up all the worms along with the leaves and that all goes into the cigarettes/cigars. Gross, who would want to smoke worms?
mmmm… worms