Mar 15
I woke up on Wednesday to some really sad news. One of my friends had committed suicide.
I have been meaning to write a blog post about it every day since then, but I just haven’t been able to. Honestly, I’m not really even sure what – if anything – to say. Brian and I weren’t all that close personally, I don’t want to pretend that we were, but he was a very good friend of one of my very good friends and as such we had spent a fair amount of time together. To me he was a totally normal, seemingly completely happy guy who was always fun to be around. However, from what I was told, he inexplicably transformed from his normal contented self to horribly depressed to dead by his own hand within a matter of only two weeks. It seems hopeless to look for reason in this sort of madness… so I won’t even try.
My own reactions to tragedy seem to be both delayed and largely internalized. Furthermore, I wasn’t sure whether I should even write or say anything in a public place like this. My personal sadness is nothing compared to that of his family and those people who knew him so much better than I did.
Still, I haven’t been able to fall asleep since I heard the news. I lay awake in bed, waiting in the darkness for tomorrow. After an hour or two, when I finally do fall asleep, I’ve been having strange but powerful dreams that leave me feeling sad when I wake up.
It will pass.
Brian is the second kid I knew who has killed himself. I don’t know what to think about that; I guess it just is.
March 15th, 2010
You’re almost catching up, if I recall correctly I’ve had ~5 “friends” from earlier in my life kill themselves or overdose now. None of them were insanely close friends but I’d hung out with a couple of them many many times, usually doing illegal activities. It’s a pretty sad thing to find out about and I’m sorry for your more recent unhappiness. You know this post is going to scare the shit out of mom though, right?
March 16th, 2010
Just to clarify, is this the same Brian that posts comments on this site? Or a different Brian?
Also, I guess I’ve been a bit lucky in the fact that I haven’t known anyone that has committed suicide. However, I do know people that have had best friends and very close friends of theirs commit suicide. My advice, in the experience I’ve gained from talking with those people, is to not keep _everything_ inside yourself. My point: it’s ok to talk to people.
Sad news, though.
March 16th, 2010
hey jim, just to help clarify for wyvern, different brian that posts on this site.
sorry to hear about your friend wyvern.
March 17th, 2010
Ok thanks, Brian. Just wanted to double-check
March 17th, 2010
yeah, it’s a different Brian.
March 24th, 2010
hello. i am sorry to read about your friend. life sucks sometimes. since i have lived through 8 gm plant closeings i stopped counting at 50 people i knew and worked with who have killed themselves. i never think about them killing themselves, i only remember them in the good times. i feel lucky and liked because if they didn’t value thier own life, what stopped them from coming into work and killing me and anyone else they could. eric it is only illegal if they convict you. there was a case in oakland county where there was a robbery and a murder. the rib-rack case they called it.the get away driver got 12 to 30 years, the look out who testified against the other 2 guys got 15 to 30 years, but the shooter who killed the night manager went on trial 2 times and got a hung jury both times. then they tried the fuck one more time and after 45 minutes of deliberation said he was not quilty of all charges. have fun in hawaii, because hawaii and me were both created in 1959. statehood later , uncle daryl